Master of Da House

I don't expect many people to read this (and that is just fine by me), but sometimes I feel like I spend my entire day talking to people that don't listen to a word I say (namely-my three children). So I am going to use this blog to write down my thoughts, feelings, and ideas and hope that seeing them written down will help to validate them!

So why the strange title? I have always used MasterOfDaHouse as my username for fantasy football and I think it all started back when I first got married and had kids. The first musical I every took my husband to (and let me preface this by saying he had never been to a musical before), was Les Miserables. He fell asleep before intermission but he did enjoy the song Master of The House, sung by Thenardier (the innkeeper). While I empathize with a lot of what he sings about (keeper of the zoo) I think this song reminds me of how I DON'T want to treat people. Thenardier and his wife care nothing for the lives of others, thinking only of themselves and their pocketbook. They blame society for their trials and sufferings.  While I enjoy the humor in the lyrics, I am working hard every day to attend to the comings and goings of my family while trying to teach them to be responsible, respectful, and honest (to be Christian in the true sense of the word).

Chris·tian  (krschn)

adj.

1. Professing belief in Jesus as Christ or following the religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus.

2. Relating to or derived from Jesus or Jesus's teachings.

3. Manifesting the qualities or spirit of Jesus; Christlike.

4. Relating to or characteristic of Christianity or its adherents.

5. Showing a loving concern for others; humane. (I especially like this definition)

My kids always joke that I am the "boss of the house" because I always know where things are and when we have to be somewhere.If it were up to my husband-my kids would never be signed up for swimming lessons, scouts, or other extra-curricular activities. They wouldn't have jeans on for "jeans" day at school, no one would sign their assignment notebook, and I'm pretty sure they would only shower once a month. Don't get me wrong-my husband is a fantastic husband and father-but organization, cleanliness, and scheduling things are not his forte. So for now-I will enjoy my title of Master of Da House!

Master of The House Lyrics

Welcome, Monsieur, sit yourself down
And meet the best innkeeper in town
As for the rest, all of 'em crooks:
Rooking their guests and crooking the books
Seldom do you see
Honest men like me
A gent of good intent
Who's content to be

Master of the house, doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake and an open palm
Tells a saucy tale, makes a little stir
Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
Glad to do a friend a favor
Doesn't cost me to be nice
But nothing gets you nothing
Everything has got a little price!

Master of the house, keeper of the zoo
Ready to relieve 'em of a sou or two
Watering the wine, making up the weight
Pickin' up their knick-knacks when they can't see straight
Everybody loves a landlord
Everybody's bosom friend
I do whatever pleases
Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!

Thenardier & Drinkers:
Master of the house, quick to catch yer eye
Never wants a passerby to pass him by
Servant to the poor, butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate!
Everybody's boon companion
Everybody's chaperone

Thenardier
But lock up your valises
Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone!

Enter Monsieur, lay down your load
Unlace your boots, rest from the road
This weighs a ton, travel's a curse
But here we strive to lighten your purse
Here the goose is cooked
Here the fat is fried
And nothing's overlooked
Till I'm satisfied

Food beyond compare. Food beyond belief
Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef
Kidney of a horse, liver of a cat
Filling up the sausages with this and that
Residents are more than welcome
Bridal suite is occupied
Reasonable charges
Plus some little extras on the side!

Charge 'em for the lice, extra for the mice
Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
Here a little slice, there a little cut
Three percent for sleeping with the window shut
When it comes to fixing prices
There are a lot of tricks he knows
How it all increases, all them bits and pieces
Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!

Thenardier & Chorus:
Master of the house, quick to catch yer eye
Never wants a passerby to pass him by
Servant to the poor, butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher, and lifelong mate!
Everybody's boon companion
Gives 'em everything he's got

Thenardier:
Dirty bunch of geezers
Jesus! What a sorry little lot!

Mme. Thenardier:
I used to dream that I would meet a prince
But God Almighty, have you seen what's happened since?

Master of the house? Isn't worth me spit!
`Comforter, philosopher' and lifelong shit!
Cunning little brain, regular Voltaire
Thinks he's quite a lover but there's not much there
What a cruel trick of nature landed me with such a louse
God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house!

Thenardier & Drinkers:
Master of the house!

Mme. Thenardier:
Master and a half!

Thenardier & Drinkers:
Comforter, philosopher

Mme. Thenardier:
Ah, don't make me laugh!

Thenardier & Drinkers:
Servant to the poor, butler to the great

Mme. Thenardier:
Hypocrite and toady and inebriate!

Thenardier & Drinkers:
Everybody bless the landlord!
Everybody bless his spouse!

Thenardier:
Everybody raise a glass

Mme. Thenardier:
Raise it up the master's arse

All
Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the House!

Master of The House-25th Anniversary Cast