Simplify!!

With my husband taking a new job and traveling throughout the week, I have become overwhelmed with all the tasks required of me Monday-Friday! A friend showed me a book that she fell in love with, Simplify: Ten Practices to Unclutter Your Soul and recommended I check it out. It gives you an amazing look into the depths of your soul...and I'm enjoying it very much.

The first chapter requires you to examine all the things that fill your energy bucket...and all the things that drain it. Lately, I have found myself to be toxically depleted...with nothing left to give...and it's a horrible feeling. Full of resentment, anger, stress, and all the other things that drain my soul. 

I love that the author first discusses the story of Martha and Mary. I have been a Martha my entire life! Always finding something to do, to clean, to create. Whenever I read that story in the bible, I feel for Martha. I understand her resentment at her sister. How can Mary just sit there and do nothing, while Martha is busy cooking and cleaning and getting things ready. The author does a great job explaining Jesus' response in a way that finally reached me. I too am worried about many things...but how did this happen? Why do I let myself become overwhelmed by taking on too much when not all of it is important? 

The first exercise in the book was a great way to examine my life when I am full of energy...versus being depleted (please excuse the horrible rendition of a bucket I drew).

       

Why am I so depleted? I have always found a great deal of satisfaction in being an over-achiever. Part of this comes from being an oldest of 5 kids-always trying to be the best and do the most to catch people's attention. I am guilty of doing more and more, always thinking that the end product is what matters most, when really, it's the journey I should be focusing on. The author encourages us to prioritize the things in our lives that fill your bucket, and ruthlessly get rid of the things that don't. What kinds of activities refuel me? What relationships inspire me? What do I read that elevates me? What in my life is actually a bucket filler? 

The first step to discovering this is to make sure I am spending at least 15 minutes each day with God. I have actually been pretty good about this since I've discovered the fantastic Pray as You Go app that was created by the Jesuit's. It's a fantastic combination of meditation, prayer, and time to listen to what God is trying to say to me. The days I don't do this right away in the morning, I find myself anxious, stressed, and overwhelmed. When I do pray right away, I apply the message God gave me to everything I do that day. 

I love the image the author in Simplify gives on making time each day to be hand in hand with God. He speaks of the picture from the Sistine Chapel, where Adam is reaching his finger out to God. Imagine what would have happened if he would have reached just a bit further to actually grasp God's hand??

I have spent the last week working hard to speak to God...and to LISTEN to his response. Doing this has helped me explore the things in my life that overwhelm me. Once I put a name to these things, I can begin to let go of them so I can spend more time on the things that will energize me.  Making sure to accomplish this prayer time each day was hard. I eventually had to find a calendar with hourly spots in it so I could plan out my entire day, and include time for prayer, exercise, and other things that replenish my soul. The physical act of writing this down, and looking at it each day, makes it more concrete... and more likely that I will follow through. 

I will be spending the next week making lists of all the things in my life that take up my time. Placing them in two categories, things that fill my energy bucket, and things that deplete it, will take some guts. I have always been  someone to say YES right away when someone asks me to do something. Listing out all my obligations, things that take a great deal of my time and energy, will be easy...but deciding what to hang on to and what to let go...that is where I will struggle!! I am prepared to be ruthless in my prioritization! I am no longer willing to spend my evenings reflecting on all the anxiety and resentment I experienced throughout the day. 

The Lord gave me many talents and treasures, but that doesn't mean I need to use them for every single thing that comes my way. How exciting to realize that I can say NO. That saying NO will allow me to spend time on things that will make ME a better mom, wife, and friend. Pairing down my list to those things that allow me to follow the path that God has planned for me. Each night, as a I meditate on the day, I would like to say "Yes! Today I accomplished the things on God's agenda. They helped me stay connected with Him and to do the work he has put forth for me." These are the days where my bucket will be fuller. These are the days I look forward to.  

Creating a Better Me

One of the greatest things I have done for myself in the last few months has been to see a therapist! My mom has always said, "Everyone should see a therapist at some point in their life! It can only help you learn more about yourself." Like I say with so many other things, she was right.

I have always had a type A personality (overly organized, a perfectionist, want to be the best at everything). If I sign on to do something, I am going to dedicate all my time and energy into doing it, and doing it right. While I enjoy the rewards of working hard for something and seeing it all done, it is also extremely stressful. It's stressful to wonder what everyone else will think about me and the project I completed, it's stressful to worry over getting every little thing right, it's stressful to think of nothing else until it is done.

My therapist has taught me to let all these stresses and worries go. I practice this each day through 10 minutes of meditation, breathing in and out, clearing my mind of anything that enters it to focus only on my breath. When she first explained the premise of this exercise, I have to admit, I was a bit skeptical. She explained, that while I was meditating and letting thoughts and feelings go, my brain would actually develop new neural pathways that make this task easier each time I practice. This translates into real life when I come across something that I would normally obsess over (I didn't get something completed on time, someone complained about something I did at work, I overheard someone talking about me or my kids), but instead, I can take a deep breath and let these things go. After several months of practicing meditation (though I admit, I don't get to it every single day), I find myself letting things go all day long!! Deep breath when I realize the laundry isn't done (I used to actually swear at the washing machine), deep breath when I read an inflammatory post on Facebook, deep breath when someone cuts me off on the highway, deep breath when I hear something someone else said about me. This had made an enormous change in how I feel about myself and the world!!

I don't have to be the best at everything! No one cares if my cub scouts earn 15, instead of all 20, of the Webelos pins (I didn't realize how much stress I was putting on myself trying to make this happen until my therapist pointed this out! Only 8 pins are actually required for them to receive the Arrow of Light before crossing over to boy scouts). My Girl Scouts have a blast no matter how perfectly I plan a meeting because they love learning new things and hanging with their friends (I would actually lose sleep over something I forgot to point out during our meeting time). My kids could care less how often I washed their sheets or how clean our house was, they just remember how long I played with them and what book we read before bed.

I have learned a lot about myself and my relationships with others in these meetings with my therapist and I'm so grateful that I finally took my mom's advice. I would recommend therapy to ANYONE who is struggling, whether you are feeling overwhelmed with everything you have to get done in a day,  struggling in your marriage or other relationships, or feeling unappreciated at work or at home. Our society is not one to talk a lot about mental health (though a lot of changes have been on that front and I hope that continues to happen), yet it is an extremely important part of well being. We don't hesitate to go to the doctor when something affects us physically us, yet there is a still a stigma attached to seeking help  for our mental health.

While I can give a great deal of the credit to my therapist, I have also had some help from pharmacological intervention. My family is notorious for it's low seratonin levels. Last summer I took a break from my medications, thinking I was doing really well and didn't really need them anymore. Let me tell you (and my family would be right there to agree), that was a HUGE mistake. I was NOT a nice person. I yelled at my kids a lot. I yelled at my husband a lot. I even yelled at the dog a lot. I hated my job, I hated going places, I hated waking up in the morning, I hated going to bed at night, I cried over everything, I hated my life. Again, my mother reminded me that I have a chemical imbalance in my brain and I would be a lot happier if I started taking my medicine again. (dang...she is right ALL THE TIME), but she had to tell me that about 7 times before I actually started listening to her (good thing she never gives up on me-no matter how crabby I am).

Six short months later and I am extremely satisfied with what I have: a fantastic husband who sacrifices a lot to make his family comfortable and happy, 3 unique and beautiful children who make my life better every day, 2 wonderful jobs that let me do what I'm good at and what I love, the most amazing extended family a girl could ever ask for, and a God that listens to my prayers and teaches me how to love other people. I am extremely blessed!

I know this is a lot of personal information to write about in a blog, but I also know that there are a lot of other people out there who struggle with the same things I do. We put a lot of pressure on ourselves in America: to do the best, to have the best, to be the best. While we can limit our exposure to some of that by canceling our cable subscriptions and surrounding ourselves with people who value the sames things we value, it is impossible to avoid all the pressures of daily life. I'm hoping that my experience might encourage someone else to take the steps needed to improve their own mental health. Whether it be through prayer, meditation, a therapist, talking with a good friend, or just eliminating some of the unnecessary stresses in their life... 'cause as the old saying goes...if Momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy...and I wish my family hadn't had to find that out the hard way!

How my mind works...and works...and works....and works

I go into the kitchen to get a glass for ice water (a short break while trying to rearrange my kids' bedroom). There is only one clean glass in the cupboard, so I open the dishwasher. Dammit, they are clean. I put away the clean dishes and load the overflowing sink with the dirty ones. While I'm there, I rinse out the sink and wipe down the counters and cabinets (what is that orange stuff running down the front of the lower cabinet doors?) I take a glass and go over to the refrigerator to get some ice. The ice is stuck in the dispenser so I open the fridge. After unclogging the dispenser, I notice all the old food that needs to be tossed and how dirty the shelves are. So I empty all the shelves and clean out the fridge. After putting everything back, I have to take out the overflowing garbage. As I'm throwing it out back, I notice the 6 bags of garbage on the back porch (instead of in the garbage cans outside), so I put on my boots and take all those bags outside to their proper place. After I walk back inside, I see the cat glaring at me from the top basement step, so I go downstairs to give her fresh food. While I'm there, I empty the dryer and put those clothes away, and put a new load in the washer. As I'm heading back up the stairs, exhausted from the last 20 minutes of work, I wonder what I was doing in the first place...and then I see my empty glass on the counter.

Sometimes I wish I could have the mindset of my husband or my kids, who can just walk into the kitchen, grab the last  clean glass from the cupboard, get a drink of water, and sit down and rest.

Pinterest-a new subcategory under addiction in the DSM-IV

My husband dreads these 5 words.... "I saw this on Pinterest......" The inside of our house has been completely pinterested. The outside of our house has been completely pinterested. Our dinner menu has been completely pinterested. Our leisure activities have been completely pinterested. I can't help it...there are a LOT of really creative people in the world...and I now have access to all their ideas. I don't always have the most creative ideas myself....but I am GREAT at copying other people's ideas. I have successfully decorated our house for every holiday in the last year, made my daughter some super cute snacks for school, and found some creative pinewood derby car designs, all on pinterest. I've removed stains from clothing, created several new gardens for our yard, and found 20 new uses for free wood pallets, all by browsing on pinterest. I have redesigned and reorganized my bedroom, my kids bedroom, my linen closet, my bathroom, my kitchen pantry, and my living room, all without the the help of an interior decorator or professional organizer. While some of these projects involved cash, many of them were cheap or free. So I would say, that the time I have "wasted" surfing through pinterest,  has paid for itself time and time again. .

Yet it still amazes me how time slips away from you while you are searching through the gold mine of Home Decor, Design, Food & Drink, Gardening, Kids, and Women's Fashion Boards. Sometimes, I sit down for "just a few minutes" and find myself realizing it is 7:00 and I forgot to get my kids dinner (luckily, I found a GREAT recipe that is guaranteed to be kid friendly in my hours of surfing pinterest). I suppose that can be said for any true addiction. How could I have consumed an entire case of Diet Coke when I just bought it yesterday? (See previous post about Diet Coke). I know I can get through all 8 levels of Super Mario without warping if my mom would just leave me alone! But I had to buy these shoes because they match that one outfit I'm saving up for. I know if I just put $10 more in this slot machine, I'll get all that money back, plus more! Addiction is described as a condition that results when a person engages in an activity that can be pleasurable but the continued use of which becomes compulsive and interferes with ordinary life responsibilities such as work (NEVER pin at work...'cause it's blocked by my employer's web browser), relationships (I've found some really FUN kids activities and some great date night pins too) or health (hmmm...lots of good exercises and healthy menus pinned...just have to do/use them). So really, this addiction is benefiting both myself and my family!

So now I will share some of the creations I have made after hours of browsing on pinterest...their spectacularity will speak for itself!

Coolest shirt ever

Glass block

Empty jar...cause I spend all the money on Pinterest Projects

Love this saying

For our front step

What kid wouldn't eat fruit in sharp sticks?!

Our Little Free Library

Snack box for 52 hours in the car

My sister's Little Free Library

A bench around our tree

Awesome table I made out of pallets for our back porch

Love the LOVE scrabble pillows

For our 52 hours in the car-backseat organizer

Fence art (which my husband HATES)

Cute setup for the back of our garage

Valentine decorations from the dollar store

Redo of our bedroom

Christmas stairs

Dollar store decor

Awesome 4th of July Sign with my Silhouette

Valentine's Day Decor (dollar store again)

Rice Krispie Treats

My Favorite sign EVER!!!!

Ok, ok...that is probably enough. I'm impressed that you even scrolled through all those pictures to get to the end of this blog. So, that is a brief description and some examples of my addiction to Pinterest. If you would like to see more....you can follow me on pinterest at  http://pinterest.com/josephnrachael/boards/

And now, to return to our regularly scheduled activity:

The Hike from Hell

Today I signed up for a challenge at work called Hike to Healthiness. Over the next few weeks, we are challenged to hike 8 trails protected by the Mississippi Valley Conservatory. Along each trail is a plaque with a factoid, which you record on sheet to turn back in at the end of summer, with the possibility to win a gift card (I'm all about winning free stuff!). This sounded like a fantastic way to get my kids out in the great outdoors! I also thought we could combine one of our other favorite pastimes (geocaching) while we were at it.

I scoped out the list of trails this morning and chose the New Amsterdam Grassland Nature Preserve. This sounded like an easy place to start...not a long hike up the face of Grandad's Bluff, but a nice, easy stroll through some grasslands. These grasslands are an important nesting area for rare grassland birds (Henslow's Sparrow and Bell's Vireo) and the trail around it is only 1.1 miles. I also learned, from the geocaching website, that this was the site of some old sand dunes and the information in the geocache description was very educational (always a bonus to throw in a little education in a summer activity).

The weather was perfect (not too hot, no rain) so we stopped at Subway to grab a picnic lunch, filled up our water bottles, applied sunscreen, and headed off to find this new trail. It's located near the town of New Amsterdam (which I had never even heard of, even though I've lived in La Crosse for most of my life) and the drive there was short and very pretty.

We pulled into the parking lot and admired the beautiful scenery: tall grasses blowing in the wind, bluffs in the background, farms lining the edge of the nature preserve.

We stopped at the sign to take a picture and headed off on our hike.

Josh was super excited to find the factoid sign and he marched ahead of the rest of us. Here he is (below) pointing out a donkey at a farm nearby. 

The kids did great for the first .6 miles, which was were the factoid sign was located. Jacob was a little leery of the flying bugs, but he plowed along anyways. I had promised them that once we found the factoid sign, we would stop for our picnic.

As we were turning the bend right after the sign, we found a spot in the shade near two tall trees. I spread out our picnic blanket....and that is when the Hike to Healthiness turned into the Hike from Hell. Josh started screaming as he realized there was a tick crawling up his leg. As he flew off the blanket, Katie realized she had one on her shoe. All three kids started jumping up and down, screaming and crying, "Get it off, get it off". I looked down and found one on each of my legs too. 

Now I may be a little uneducated about the outdoors, but I really wasn't expecting ticks in a grassland preserve. I thought we would encounter those later on, in our hikes up the bluffs.  Boy was I WRONG!

We pulled up the picnic blanket and started speed walking around the trail to get back to our car. Josh cried hysterically the entire way there, and we stopped to pull ticks off our legs, socks, and clothes every few hundred feet. Jake kept lecturing me on what a horrible idea this was, and why hadn't I done any research on ticks and grasslands (good point). It only took us about 10 minutes to reach our car again, but I'm sure that any wildlife we would have seen on the walk was terrified by the screeches and cries of my three children!!

For posterity sake, I made my kids take another picture when we got back to the sign ("So we can remember to NEVER come back here again", said Katie). Notice Josh's terrified face and Katie scratching herself. 

We tried to do a tick check outside the car, but as we stood there, more ticks kept climbing onto our legs. I got off the few I could spot, and the kids piled into the van. Katie ripped off her shoes and found a tick on the sole of her foot, while Josh found three more on his legs and arms on the way home. 

 

Needless to say, I have been unable to get any of my kids outside to play on this beautiful afternoon. They all keep itching themselves (as do I), convinced they will find another tick. I hate to even mention the possibility of another hike next week (though it can't go any worse than this one!!). 

So, I would like to take the time to thank my employer and the Mississippi Valley Conservatory for encouraging us to participate in this Hike to Hike to Healthiness Hell....I may never get my kids outside again! Cheers to another 75 days of summer and the possibility of spending them all indoors (and we never did get to find that geocache).

Organization 101-Kitchen

An Organized LIFE Kitchen

In an attempt to get my life more organized in 2013, I decided to start with my kitchen. Besides my van and my bed (which is a tempurpedic that I LOVE...but that is a whole 'nother post), this is probably the room in the house where I spend the most time. Between cleaning it, cooking in it, paying bills, going through paperwork, hanging up backpacks, lining up shoes(I'm exhausted just thinking about all that)...I spend a great deal of time in this room. 

It all started when I got a laminator for Christmas (okay, okay-I bought it for myself-but it's not like I didn't deserve it!) I've seen some really cute labels on Pinterest lately, and I thought I could use those, run them through my laminator, and BINGO-instant organization. My thought behind this was-if it specifically says CHIPS in one part of our pantry-how could my husband or children put the chips anywhere else?! (Ha, ha...I'm sure you're all laughing at me-but they do put them away in the right spot 50% of the time-the other 50% of the time they just leave them out on the counter). 

Here is my laminator (isn't it pretty)

I decided to tackle our pantry first, because I really had no idea what was in there. We have a pretty small kitchen, with limited cabinet space, so a lot of things besides food go in the pantry. I made up some cute little labels using a template I found on Pinterest, added my own words to them, print them out on my printer, and ran them through the laminator. Using cheap plastic boxes from Target ($0.97 each...but of course I spent way over that-because who can leave Target while only spending $12.00??!!), I separated my pastas from my canned goods, and made a easy dinner box for my husband for the nights he makes dinner (ie: venison hamburger helper and tuna helper). 

I had an awkward amount of space above one of the shelves, so I hung an under-shelf storage basket there with all my baking supplies (vanilla, baking soda, baking powder, chocolate chips). It works great because I can pull the whole basket from the shelf and set it on the counter while I'm baking, and then I just slide it back when I'm done. 

Once all of that stuff was organized, I had plenty of room to store the appliances I use the most (ie: Pizza Pizzaz-really people-this thing is useful for way more than cooking up pizza). 

There seemed like a lot of wasted space on the walls inside the pantry. A few years ago I installed a shoe organizer to hold bottles/sauces/gravy packets, etc, but the other side looked lonely and bare. 

About a month ago, we finally got a new stove (after spending years waiting 90 minutes for pizza and brownies to cook). My old stove had a HUGE drawer to store pots and pans, but the new stove (isn't it pretty??!!) has a TINY drawer (it's fits the awesome new griddle that I use on my new stove-so I'm not complaining). I needed somewhere to hang my pans, but I'm not a big fan of clutter, so I hammered some nails on the other wall in my pantry and hung the pans. PERFECT!! Easy to see and easy to put away. 

                                                          

Since we've always had such a small pantry, we keep a lot of our every day food in an armoire in the kitchen.This is the food that the kids need to be able to reach (snacks, breakfast foods, etc). This also received an array of cheap plastic bins-which are now CLEARLY labeled. I really like the way it made the pantry look so organized. The baskets under the shelves are great for foil, saran wrap, cocoa, etc (another good way to use that wasted space). 

I found a rack at the office supply store (I think it is a desk organizer for binders) that worked perfectly in the bottom of the armoire for my baking sheets, muffin tins, and other pans. Since they are all standing up, they are easy to see and I can grab the one I need without toppling the rest.  There is also plenty of room down there for my Kitchen-Aid Mixer (which I LOVE...but I don't like to look at on my counter all the time).

We have a detached garage and the kids often enter the house through the back door into the kitchen. My sister-in-law made us this super cute coat rack a few years ago (and I added 3M hooks underneath for their backpacks). I decided to add some storage next to that for things that leave the house (donations, gifts, things that need to be delivered to others). I already had these wire shelves in our basement, so I bought some bankers boxes (about 6 of them for $10 and they are REALLY sturdy) from Target and added my own, cute labels. The bankers boxes are a great place to throw stuff that used to sit on our kitchen counter, and I can grab the whole box and take it out to the car if I need to. 

The other things I've been waiting to do for years is make a "kids cabinet" so my kids can reach their own plates, bowls, and cups. Right now, they all jump up on the kitchen counter to grab what they need (anyone else who has Corelle and tile floor knows that it is NOT as indestructible as they say). I found some cute, melanin plates, bowls, and glasses on clearance at Target (man I love that store) and put them in a cupboard underneath the counter. The added bonus to this (that I wasn't really thinking about when I did it), is that it makes it easier for the kids to put the dishes AWAY from the dishwasher too. Score!!

It took me about 12 hours to get the whole kitchen organized (and my husband thinks I'm crazy for labeling everything), but it makes it all look so pretty! I'm really loving the ease of finding things and the fact that the kids (and the hubby) can put things away in the right place (I can always dream). I'm pretty sure I will be happy with the kitchen organization for at least a few months, and then I'll be ready to switch it up again. Until then...I'll enjoy the tidiness as I spend my hours cooking, cleaning, and organizing in there!