Real Mothers

Real  Mothers

As we reach the middle of summer and I find myself yelling a little more at my kids instead of enjoying their company ALL DAY...I begin to wonder if I am a good mother. All mothers have those moment,s when they realize they have just sunk to the level of their 7 year old child (yelling back "Oh yeah, well I'm going to throw all your toys away", as I run downstairs to get a giant garbage bag and my daughter bursts into tears surrounded by her beloved littlest pet shop and playmobil toys). Or the time I criticize my 9 year old son for not swinging the bat during a baseball game (really?? He's not playing for the world series...he is NINE YEARS OLD.  My heart sank when I told him I was just trying to encourage him to play a little harder and he said "Mom, that doesn't feel very encouraging!".) It is moments like these where I wish I had a rewind button (and a giant dose of PATIENCE). As I was taking a break from the chaos, listening to the book House Rules, by Jodi Picoult, I came across this little gem and I knew I had to share it with all the other mother's out there...the last line is my favorite!!

“When did they stop putting toys in cereal boxes? When I was little, I remember wandering the cereal aisle (which surely is as American a phenomenon as fireworks on the Fourth of July) and picking my breakfast food based on what the reward was: a Frisbee with the Trix rabbit's face emblazoned on the front. Holographic stickers with the Lucky Charms leprechaun. A mystery decoder wheel. I could suffer through raisin bran for a month if it meant I got a magic ring at the end.

I cannot admit this out loud. In the first place, we are expected to be supermoms these days, instead of admitting that we have flaws. It is tempting to believe that all mothers wake up feeling fresh every morning, never raise their voices, only cook with organic food, and are equally at ease with the CEO and the PTA.

Here's a secret: those mothers don't exist. Most of us-even if we'd never confess-are suffering through the raisin bran in the hopes of a glimpse of that magic ring.

I look very good on paper. I have a family, and I write a newspaper column. In real life, I have to pick superglue out of the carpet, rarely remember to defrost for dinner, and plan to have BECAUSE I SAID SO engraved on my tombstone.

Real mothers wonder why experts who write for Parents and Good Housekeeping-and, dare I say it, the Burlington Free Press-seem to have their acts together all the time when they themselves can barely keep their heads above the stormy seas of parenthood.

Real mothers don't just listen with humble embarrassment to the elderly lady who offers unsolicited advice in the checkout line when a child is throwing a tantrum. We take the child, dump him in the lady's car, and say, "Great. Maybe YOU can do a better job."

Real mothers know that it's okay to eat cold pizza for breakfast.

Real mothers admit it is easier to fail at this job than to succeed.

If parenting is the box of raisin bran, then real mothers know the ratio of flakes to fun is severely imbalanced. For every moment that your child confides in you, or tells you he loves you, or does something unprompted to protect his brother that you happen to witness, there are many more moments of chaos, error, and self-doubt.

Real mothers may not speak the heresy, but they sometimes secretly wish they'd chosen something for breakfast other than this endless cereal.

Real mothers worry that other mothers will find that magic ring, whereas they'll be looking and looking for ages. 

Rest easy, real mothers. The very fact that you worry about being a good mom means that you already are one.” ― Jodi Picoult, House Rules

So, as we trudge along through the raisin bran that is summer vacation...remember, real mothers, that the house doesn't have to be clean, the kids don't care if they eat cereal for dinner instead of a home cooked meal, we have to enjoy the magic ring that is this time spent with our children. They don't expect us to be perfect...they just want us to be THERE.

I used to inwardly roll my eyes when people would say to me, "Enjoy them now, they grow up so fast". When my kids were 1, 2, and 3, I thought the endless days of diaper changes, feedings, laundry, and spit up would never end. Now that they are 8, 9, and 10, I realize that those people were right-they do grow up too fast!! While I appreciate that I no longer have to give them all their showers at night (how nice is it that they can wash themselves, get on their own pajamas, and brush their own teeth), I still miss rocking them to sleep after reading I'll Love You Forever for the hundredth time. I miss their endless two year old excitement at EVERYTHING ("Mommy, did you see how big that leaf was?"). As they get older...I miss being needed!  While I am happy that I have raised self-entertaining, self-sufficient kiddos (for the most part), it is nice to be needed too.

This summer vacation is a good reminder that they are still young and I need to focus on being there for them instead of being the "perfect" mother. As I clean up their messes and do the laundry, I should be appreciating that I am still needed and be thankful for these chores that mean my kids are around.  So the next time I come across a spilled cereal bowl or a fight between my three kids, or my daughter asks me for "just one more book" again before bedtime, I am going to stop, take a deep breath...and look for the magic ring amid  the raisin bran!

Loving' The Whole Foods Thing

So for two weeks now my husband and I have been eating a whole foods, plant-based, diet. No processed food, no meat, no dairy. I have to say that I thought this would be really hard...but it hasn't been hard at all. I am actually starting to crave vegetables and fruits and even looking at a donut or a hamburger makes me feel sick. I am full all the time and I don't feel like I'm depriving myself of anything. I have been having a blast trying out new recipes...so today I thought I would share some of my favorites from the last two weeks.

The first one that we use every morning is the Green Smoothie. This is a quick and delicious smoothie that we whip up in about 4 minutes every morning. We use 1 cup soy milk, 2 cups spinach, 1 tbs flax seed, 1 banana, 5 frozen strawberries, and 1 scoop Amazing Grass in chocolate flavor (the amazing grass it what makes it taste so good-like a chocolate shake). I whip this up at about 5am and it keeps me full until about 9am.

Some of our favorite dinners so far have been: 

Marakesh Vegetable Curry (could be the best food I've ever eaten)-     http://allrecipes.com/recipe/marrakesh-vegetable-curry/detail.aspx

Indian Style Rice with Cashews, Raisins, and Tumeric-  

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/indian-style-rice-with-cashews-raisins-and-turmeric/detail.aspx

Quinoa Chili (I added  tvp, to give it a meat consistency) 

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/quinoa-chili/detail.aspx

Low-fat Tahini-Chickpea Salad Dressing (the best dressing I've EVER had) (see photo above)

http://blog.fatfreevegan.com/2011/08/low-fat-tahini-chickpea-dressing.html

Zuchinni Tomato Casserole(yummy with nutritional yeast in place of cheese) 

http://allrecipes.com/recipe/tomato-zucchini-casserole/detail.aspx

Homemade 100% whole wheat bread (with honey) 

http://cookingforseven.wordpress.com/2008/12/05/favorite-100-whole-wheat-bread/

Low Fat (no-oil) Hummus (great on sandwiches/pita)   

http://vegweb.com/index.php?topic=7262.0

Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies  (best cookies I've ever had) 

http://www.cookiemadness.net/2012/01/vegan-chocolate-chip-cookies-with-kelapo-coconut-oil/

Some MUST have items in the kitchen:

Coconut Oil (healthiest oil to cook with-use in scant amounts)

100% whole wheat flour

Nutritional Yeast (to replace cheese in recipes-cooks to creamy deliciousness)

Maple Syrup (great in many recipes)

Fresh spices (love the co-op for these)

Quinoa, couscous, basmati rice

I have to say that a pressure cooker also makes this type of cooking a breeze. I throw in whatever veggies, grain, and spices we are having and it takes about 10 minutes and it's done!! For example-the marakesh vegetable curry: I chopped up the veggies (took about 4 minutes), threw everything in pressure cooker, and 15 minutes later we are eating the most delicious meal I've ever had. A pressure cooker can cook most vegetables in under 4 minutes and grains in under 10 (amazing since otherwise it would take about 45 minutes to cook quinoa or lentils). Here is a link to the time charts I use so you can see how amazing it is

http://fastcooking.ca/pressure_cookers/cooking_times_pressure_cooker.php

That's it for now-hopefully you are inspired to try some of these recipes. Jacob is really loving them and Josh and Katie are trying them...and then eating healthy cereal or whole grain pancakes with fruit for dinner. Joe and I started this as a sacrifice for Lent (giving up processed foods) but I think it will become a major lifestyle change for us!

Day 1 of our Whole Foods Diet

Breakfast for myself and Joe: Green Smoothie
1 cup soy milk
2 cups spinach
1 tbs flax seed
1 banana
5 frozen strawberries
1 scoop Amazing Grass chocolate powder

DELICIOUS!!

My lunch:

1/4 Cup of Bob's Red Mill Scottish Oatmeal

1 cup blueberries

Family Dinner:

Sweet Potato and Quinoa Cakes with Salsa

Salad

The best part about the recipe above was how QUICK it was! I made the quinoa and lentils in the pressure cooker (which only took 7 minutes). The sweet potatoes cooked in the microwave during that time. Then I mixed them all together, added chili powder and formed them into cakes. I baked them in the oven for 20 minutes and they were delicious!!

It's the First Day of the Rest of My Life (kind of dramatic but I'm trying to pump myself up)!

After much influence from my mom and my cousin Jason in Colorado-I have decided to try to sacrifice the convenience and my love of crappy food during this Lenten season. I stress the word LOVE now because I love food....fast food, dessert, fried food, etc. Yet, after watching the movie Forks over Knives

(available to watch instantly on Netflix for those who are interested), and listening to the wisdom of my MUCH older cousin (ha, ha, Jason), I have realized the danger that eating our current diet is putting us in. Joe and I both have a history of heart disease in our families and I want to spend as much time on this Earth with both him and our kids. So we are going to be trying out a whole foods (mostly plant based) diet for the next 40 days. I know it's going to be hard, and I'm sure I will slip up, but I'm not going to let that deter me! As a hard working mother and wife, I deserve to be healthy and happy and I think that eating the right foods will be a great step in the right direction.

Numerous long term studies have shown that eating a whole food diet can greatly reduce your risk of heart disease and cancer as well as providing numerous other benefits. The sad thing is, that in the United States, the American Dietetic Association, USDA (the governing bodies who recommend what foods we should be eating) are controlled by food corporations who are making money off the Standard American Diet that is high in meats, dairy, and CORN SYRUP. The pharmaceutical companies are making billions of dollars each year on our chronic illnesses. We need to start changing our diets now so we can help prevent our children from the obesity epidemic that is overtaking our country.

I recently had lunch with my kids at school and was appalled at the hot lunch options offered to our children. Most of the fruits and vegetables they are offered comes out a can (loaded with sugars and sodium). The meat is often unrecognizable (I couldn't tell if it was supposed to be chicken or beef underneath the gravy that day). Some of the offerings at my kids school: mozzarella dippers (since when are sticks of cheese considered a main meal?), mini corn dogs, hot dogs, nachos, and lots of pizza. We have always packed our kids lunch, and while I admit to throwing in a bag of chips now and then, I am confident that the food I was sending with them was much more nutritious than the food they would get at school. 

I KNOW that it is going to be hard to get my kids on board with this whole foods way of eating (my daughter lives off macaroni and cheese and pancakes). It will be a challenge to try to find healthy alternatives to these things (but I found a great whole wheat pancake mix at the store today) but if we don't have unhealthy food available in the house, they will be forced to choose from the fruits and vegetables that are available. We will see how it goes and I will keep you all updated!! Stay tuned for a post tomorrow showing our first day of menus containing only whole foods.

Teaching Online and Why I Love It!

In case you didn't know, I teach several online courses for UW-La Crosse as an Ad Hoc Instructor for the Therapeutic Recreation department. Since they have added several Child Life classes in the past few years...and I have been looking for ways to supplement my income without being away from my kids...I found a few gaps that I thought should be included in their curriculum and proposed some courses. Luckily, they were able to add my courses to their course schedule by offering them through the Continuing Education department. The only downfall of this is that I get paid a percentage of the tuition raised from the class...so when I had 1 person registered for my summer session class (which I still held since the student needed it to fill a requirement for the child life exam), I didn't make a lot of money.

This winter session I am excited to be teaching my death and dying course for the first time (officially titled Helping Children Cope with Grief and Loss) and I have 12 students taking this course (I even have a student from Maryland enrolled this semester). Since I am a Certified Child Life Specialist-current students, or recent graduates, can take any of my online courses and use them for the requirements to sit for the Child Life Certification Exam (one of the new requirements is that each student MUST take a course from a Certified Child Life Specialist). This has really helped me boost my advertising ability to other child life specialists and recent graduates because they can take the course as a "special student" without officially applying to UW-La Crosse and while paying a discounted rate.

What I love most about teaching online is the flexibility that it offers (to me and to my students). I can work on the courses I create while my kids are in school... and I often grade papers while they are in bed at night. They barely even notice the time I spend on it and I am able to make money in the process. I also love that students can take these courses and still fit them into their current class schedules. They can find a time that works for THEM to work on coursework.  I always inform them that they should be prepared for a great deal of work for an online course. Some students believe the myth that online courses are easier (but having gotten my master's degree online-I KNOW this is not true). There is a great deal of self-discipline required...as well as a need to be a good writer (because most of your assignments are written).

I love finding ways to spice up the online learning experience by including You Tube videos, Jing presentations, and other innovative methods to help engage the students. I also require that they respond to their classmates posts so that I know that they are engaging with others in our "classroom". I have had a lot of positive feedback about the online learning environments I have created and this is great because I spent a LOT of hours creating these online courses. The good news is...that once I create a course online...I can copy it and paste it into a new course to use another semester (of course I delete items, change test/quiz questions, update information, add new requirements). So far I have 3 permanent courses that are now set into the TR course rotation (Helping Children Cope with Grief and Loss, Coping with Pediatric Disabling Conditions, and Helping a Child in Pain). I am also working on creating two more (one on family centered care and the other to be determined) so I will eventually have 1 course every semester (including summer and winter sessions).

Another thing I LOVE about teaching is that I get to connect with many of the students I have in class through my job at Gundersen. I am in charge of supervising all of the child life students that do practicums and independent studies at Gundersen Lutheran. Many of these students that I have in my classroom also complete hours with me in the Outpatient Surgery Center. It is always fun to help them apply what they are learning in class to what they see in their hours with me!

While I really enjoy teaching, I am fortunate enough to be able to do it without being away from my kids. I did teach one semester of in class coursework (Child Life Theory and Practice) while the regular instructor was on sabbatical and I hated being away from my kids for 4 hours every Thursday. Teaching online is a great compromise for my family and for my students.

I Can't Remember Anything (or..."I told you that already Mom"

I have a HORRIBLE memory. It drives my husband CRAZY and at least twice a week he tells me..."I told you that already!"  Now a lot of this is his fault because I have also told him eight million times that if he doesn't put it on the calendar (ie: I'm running a marathon next weekend), then it doesn't exist in my world.

My oldest son thinks this is kind of funny because it leads to some great book discussions. I remember almost NOTHING about the books I read (even if I just finished it I would have a hard time giving you any specific details besides the basic plot). Jacob, on the other hand, remembers every detail of every part of the book. We often discuss the book he just finished and he will say "remember that part Mom?" and of course I do NOT remember that part. I think that is why I only read Fiction books, because then it doesn't really matter if I remember it or not (ie: If I read about about JFK I would probably only remember that he was a United States President and he was shot).

This really comes in handy when I go to see a movie that is based on a book....I am ALWAYS surprised at what happens! Case in point...Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I read the book in one night (getting it at Barnes and Noble at midnight and reading until 4am when I finished the last page). When I saw the movie the ONLY thing I remembered was that Dobby died...the rest was all a surprise. My boys kept saying...oh yeah, remember that from the book, and I would say "Nope"! I really enjoyed the ending of that movie.

I also forget a lot of other things (doctor's appointments, meetings, etc) but I have found a great workaround for this...GOOGLE CALENDAR. I have our entire life planned out in google calendar and it sounds an alarm on my phone 10 minutes before each event (ie: every day at 2:30 my phone alarms to remind me to pick up my kids...because I have forgotten this too...like on the first day of school this year). I have found that this 10 minute window allows me enough time to get where I need to be when I forget (like dropping off my car for new tires or getting snack for Katie to take to school). The other bonus of google calendar is that it also alerts my husband of what I am doing every day (since his phone is synced to my calendar). On a typical day he would get the following alerts:

Work 6 OR 5 TR (that means a busy day at work)
CMN meeting at 7:30
Bible Study 8:30
Watch Ceci 11:30
Help Sarah in her classroom 1:30
Pick up kids 2:40
Choir 3:30
Pick up Jake from Homework Club 4:30
Grade papers for online course 6:00
Jake Karate 7:30

These constant alerts remind him that I am NOT sitting at home all day watching TV and doing nothing...and he doesn't have to ask me what I did all day...instead he can ask me how Choir was! It's win-win for both of us and seems to be a good work-around for my HORRIBLE memory!

The other day someone said to me "I heard you have a blog, what is it called?". That was a great reminder that, yes, I do have a blog and I should probably write something on it....because, of course, I forgot!

I am a Child Life Specialist

"You're a what?? Oh, so does that mean you get to play with kids all day?" You have no idea how many times I have heard this comment. I am so much more than a "playlady"! 

I have wanted to be a Child Life Specialist since I was seven years old.  A Child Life Specialist is someone who works with children in a hospital or clinic setting to provide psychosocial support and make their hospital or clinic experience as normal and positive as possible.  As the Child Life specialist in Gundersen’s Outpatient Surgery Center, I get to see all of the kids that come in for outpatient surgery.  I bring them toys to keep them busy, show them pictures of things they will see while they are there, and provide preparation and distraction for IV starts. As part of the Teddy Bear Care program that I created, I provide tours for children a few days before their surgery so they know what to expect when they come in.  I have been at Gundersen for a little over nine years, and it has been such a joy to finally be doing what I always dreamed-making the hospital experience a little less scary for the children that come in. 

I have heard horror stories from older individuals about their surgery experiences when they were younger.  One woman told me that she still remembers, 65 years later, the doctors and nurses holding her down and covering her face with chlorophorm as they put her to sleep to take out her tonsils. Now many of the nurses that I work with tell me stories of children who don’t want to leave when it’s time to go home.  Now that is what I love to hear-the story of a child who is having so much fun playing after surgery that they want to stay at the hospital all day.  Hopefully, in the future, all hospital staff will hear, “Mommy, can we come back here to play again?” as a family is walking out their doors.  Now that is great customer service!  I am so glad, in a time when our medical advancements are expanding by leaps and bounds, that the people at Gundersen Lutheran realized how important it was to provide advancements in psychosocial care as well, and I am proud to be one of the people that is able to provide that!!

 

What is Child Life?

By: Steve Slowinski, former Child Life Intern
at Connecticut Children’s Medical Center

What I’m not:
A nurse.
A doctor.
A social worker.

A “Keeper of the Toys.”
A magical “make-this-kid-not-cry”
person.
Only someone to play with the kids.

I’m not superfluous.

What I am:
I am a teacher,
A helping hand,
A support,
An advocate,
An active listener,
A therapeutic touch,
And a child development specialist
Every.
Single.
Day.

I am an OR prep-er,
An IV teacher,
A de-coder of PICC, VCUG, MRI and
NG,
A distraction provider,
An inpatient support,
And a guide and voice for siblings
All in the same day.

I am calm despite cancer, CAT scans,
and catheters.
I am strong in the face of syncope,
sickle cell, and surgery.
Kids can’t always do these things for
themselves.
That’s why I’m here.

I am deliberate in all of my actions and
words
Because I use the language of children
And it has power.
I am flexible and go where I’m needed
Because children can’t always be
flexible
About when they’re going to freak.

I am not here to merely play with
children, give them toys, and distract
them
With “SpongeBob”.

I’m a Child Life Specialist.
When kids say they can’t, I tell them
they can. 

To learn more about child life-check out the Child Life Council website!