I Can't Remember Anything (or..."I told you that already Mom"

I have a HORRIBLE memory. It drives my husband CRAZY and at least twice a week he tells me..."I told you that already!"  Now a lot of this is his fault because I have also told him eight million times that if he doesn't put it on the calendar (ie: I'm running a marathon next weekend), then it doesn't exist in my world.

My oldest son thinks this is kind of funny because it leads to some great book discussions. I remember almost NOTHING about the books I read (even if I just finished it I would have a hard time giving you any specific details besides the basic plot). Jacob, on the other hand, remembers every detail of every part of the book. We often discuss the book he just finished and he will say "remember that part Mom?" and of course I do NOT remember that part. I think that is why I only read Fiction books, because then it doesn't really matter if I remember it or not (ie: If I read about about JFK I would probably only remember that he was a United States President and he was shot).

This really comes in handy when I go to see a movie that is based on a book....I am ALWAYS surprised at what happens! Case in point...Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I read the book in one night (getting it at Barnes and Noble at midnight and reading until 4am when I finished the last page). When I saw the movie the ONLY thing I remembered was that Dobby died...the rest was all a surprise. My boys kept saying...oh yeah, remember that from the book, and I would say "Nope"! I really enjoyed the ending of that movie.

I also forget a lot of other things (doctor's appointments, meetings, etc) but I have found a great workaround for this...GOOGLE CALENDAR. I have our entire life planned out in google calendar and it sounds an alarm on my phone 10 minutes before each event (ie: every day at 2:30 my phone alarms to remind me to pick up my kids...because I have forgotten this too...like on the first day of school this year). I have found that this 10 minute window allows me enough time to get where I need to be when I forget (like dropping off my car for new tires or getting snack for Katie to take to school). The other bonus of google calendar is that it also alerts my husband of what I am doing every day (since his phone is synced to my calendar). On a typical day he would get the following alerts:

Work 6 OR 5 TR (that means a busy day at work)
CMN meeting at 7:30
Bible Study 8:30
Watch Ceci 11:30
Help Sarah in her classroom 1:30
Pick up kids 2:40
Choir 3:30
Pick up Jake from Homework Club 4:30
Grade papers for online course 6:00
Jake Karate 7:30

These constant alerts remind him that I am NOT sitting at home all day watching TV and doing nothing...and he doesn't have to ask me what I did all day...instead he can ask me how Choir was! It's win-win for both of us and seems to be a good work-around for my HORRIBLE memory!

The other day someone said to me "I heard you have a blog, what is it called?". That was a great reminder that, yes, I do have a blog and I should probably write something on it....because, of course, I forgot!

I am a Child Life Specialist

"You're a what?? Oh, so does that mean you get to play with kids all day?" You have no idea how many times I have heard this comment. I am so much more than a "playlady"! 

I have wanted to be a Child Life Specialist since I was seven years old.  A Child Life Specialist is someone who works with children in a hospital or clinic setting to provide psychosocial support and make their hospital or clinic experience as normal and positive as possible.  As the Child Life specialist in Gundersen’s Outpatient Surgery Center, I get to see all of the kids that come in for outpatient surgery.  I bring them toys to keep them busy, show them pictures of things they will see while they are there, and provide preparation and distraction for IV starts. As part of the Teddy Bear Care program that I created, I provide tours for children a few days before their surgery so they know what to expect when they come in.  I have been at Gundersen for a little over nine years, and it has been such a joy to finally be doing what I always dreamed-making the hospital experience a little less scary for the children that come in. 

I have heard horror stories from older individuals about their surgery experiences when they were younger.  One woman told me that she still remembers, 65 years later, the doctors and nurses holding her down and covering her face with chlorophorm as they put her to sleep to take out her tonsils. Now many of the nurses that I work with tell me stories of children who don’t want to leave when it’s time to go home.  Now that is what I love to hear-the story of a child who is having so much fun playing after surgery that they want to stay at the hospital all day.  Hopefully, in the future, all hospital staff will hear, “Mommy, can we come back here to play again?” as a family is walking out their doors.  Now that is great customer service!  I am so glad, in a time when our medical advancements are expanding by leaps and bounds, that the people at Gundersen Lutheran realized how important it was to provide advancements in psychosocial care as well, and I am proud to be one of the people that is able to provide that!!

 

What is Child Life?

By: Steve Slowinski, former Child Life Intern
at Connecticut Children’s Medical Center

What I’m not:
A nurse.
A doctor.
A social worker.

A “Keeper of the Toys.”
A magical “make-this-kid-not-cry”
person.
Only someone to play with the kids.

I’m not superfluous.

What I am:
I am a teacher,
A helping hand,
A support,
An advocate,
An active listener,
A therapeutic touch,
And a child development specialist
Every.
Single.
Day.

I am an OR prep-er,
An IV teacher,
A de-coder of PICC, VCUG, MRI and
NG,
A distraction provider,
An inpatient support,
And a guide and voice for siblings
All in the same day.

I am calm despite cancer, CAT scans,
and catheters.
I am strong in the face of syncope,
sickle cell, and surgery.
Kids can’t always do these things for
themselves.
That’s why I’m here.

I am deliberate in all of my actions and
words
Because I use the language of children
And it has power.
I am flexible and go where I’m needed
Because children can’t always be
flexible
About when they’re going to freak.

I am not here to merely play with
children, give them toys, and distract
them
With “SpongeBob”.

I’m a Child Life Specialist.
When kids say they can’t, I tell them
they can. 

To learn more about child life-check out the Child Life Council website!

Why I Chose to be a Leader for Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts-or in other words-Yes I am Crazy!

My mom was ALWAYS around when I was growing up. She came to help at school, went on field trips, and had a snack ready for us when we got home at the end of the day. While sometimes it was a little embarrassing (think 13 year old girl on a field trip trying to avoid her mother), I knew that she would always be there for us and that made me feel safe.

I want my kids to feel the same way so I try to be involved as much as possible in their lives (which is fine now because they are 7, 8, and 9...but I will cry the first time my oldest tells me he doesn't want me to come on his field trip). One of my favorite activities to do with them is scouting.

I started out as the scout leader for my middle son because they didn't have anyone else to do it. Then I signed up to be the leader for my daughters girl scout troop. Now I am so glad I did because I get to spend all that time watching them interact with their friends and learn new things. Their friends know who I am and say hi to me when I see them. I hope that will continue as they grow older because I want them to feel comfortable with me around (then I can keep closer tabs on what they are up to)!

In college I spent a lot of time in classes with education majors (since child life was under the education department) and I LOVED the lesson planning and the projects. Now I could NEVER be an elementary school teacher (I love kids but I don't think I have the patience to teach them all day long for 9 months). I LOVE getting ready for scout meetings. I like taking the information they are supposed to learn and making it fun and interesting (because some of it is NOT that fun and interesting). Take, for example, our last boy scout meeting...we were supposed to learn about "Being Ready" in emergency situations. I knew that they had just spent 8 hours sitting in class listening to their teacher lecturing them so I decided to add a little more fun to our meeting. I created a jeopardy game out of the information they were supposed to learn (complete with prizes for the winning team). They LOVED the competition and after we were done I had them create a safety scene out of legos- SUCCESS. I was AMAZED at the things they created (a very detailed house on fire scene complete with flames and the angel of death). The boys had a blast and I hope they will remember the things they learned.

Besides helping my kids and their friends learn in exciting ways...getting ready for scout meetings also gives me something to do while they are at school! I work part time (6:00am to 10:00am) so I have the rest of the school day to find stuff to do! Of course I do the normal, boring, things like cleaning, cooking, laundry...but you can only do so much of that in a week. Getting ready for these meetings lets me be creative and gives me something to do to fill those long hours while my kids are gone.

I hope that when my kids grow up, they will remember all the fun things we did in scouts and appreciate the time I put into being they leader. Yet, even if they don't, I will always have the memories that we are making together, and those are worth all of the time I spend on scouting!

Please Be on Time (at least when you are going somewhere with me)

I am NEVER late...and I'm almost ALWAYS 10 minutes early. If I'm not early...you should probably call me to see if I'm okay (you know, make sure I wasn't in a car accident or check to see if my kids don't have me locked up in the basement). I think this stems from always being late growing up. My mom (sorry Mom-you know I LOVE you) has a small problem with time management so we were usually running behind. Granted-if I had 5 kids I would probably have a harder time getting places on time too. It actually drives my mom crazy most of the time that I am always 10 minutes early (ie: I said I would be over to drop off my kids at 7:00 and when I show up at 6:50 and she is still not dressed...but really-was she going to be dressed with her hair and make-up done in the next 10 minutes...probably not).

I have gotten a little better over time (I now show up at school at 2:40 to pick up Katie instead of 2:20-even though she isn't done until 2:50). Yet it has gotten even easier to be early now that my kids can get their own shoes and coats on (I don't have to build 15 minutes into our exit plan to allow for getting them ready to leave the house or buckling them into their car seats).

I think the thing that bothers me the most about people who are late is that my time is valuable too! I understand that there are legitimate reasons for running late (my car battery died, my daughter threw up before we left the house) but I still feel that most of it is poor time management and a lack of respect for other people's time (sorry to offend people here but I have to get this off my chest)! I am a busy working mother too and nothing annoys me more than working my butt of to get somewhere on time just so I can wait for someone else to meet me wherever we are going!!

I LOVE DEALS

For those of you that know me pretty well-you know that I love a good deal! I think this comes from my dad who always gets excited when he gets a good coupon for a restaurant or finds a cheap hotel on priceline. I remember going out to eat many times when I was younger and watching my dad pull out his buy one get one free coupon and exclaiming over how much money he saved on our meal.

Today I am going to share with you some of my favorite deals-starting with my personal favorite: Happy Hour

1.  Manny's-while I don't really like the food here (I know, I know...my family raves about it but I was not impressed), they have THE BEST margaritas and you can get them 1/2 price from 3-6 everyday (even the GIANT margarita).
2. Tequila's-Monday and Tuesday 2 for 1 margaritas.
3.  TGI Fridays-drink specials and 1/2 price of select appetizers from 3-7 and 10 to close ($3 margaritas)
   Outback Steakhouse-2 for 1 drinks from 2-6pm (my favorite-the wallaby darned-YUMMY)
4. Famous Dave's-1/2 price appetizers and good deals on drinks (Mama's Backyard Punch-best drink there!) from 3-6pm and 9pm-close (you can also get some good coupons online or by signing up for the P.I.G. club)
5. My all-time favorite deal Starlite Lounge-1/2 price martinis and 1/2 price appetizers Tues-Friday from 4-7.  My favorite drink-the key lime pie martini (I once drank 3 of them in 30 minutes-they taste like candy). My favorite appetizer-blackened chicken nachos without banana peppers (they make them soggy) and pepper jack cheese bites. I'm pretty sure my brother "ate dinner" here for several months in college (Right Andy?)

Now for my favorite deal on food:

1. Buzzard Billy's-my favorite restaurant in town and kids EAT FREE on Sunday. The best part about this deal is that you can take 3 kids and 1 adult and all the kids eat free. 
2. Tequila's-kids eat free on Sat and Sun (1 free kids meal per paid adult meal). Great deal when you are really craving Mexican food.
3. T.G.I Fridays-you can ALWAYS find a coupon for TGI's. Also-as a member of the Get More Stripes club, you earn free food for your visits (combine this with their great happy hour and you can eat out pretty cheaply).

Some of my other favorite (random) deals:

1. Every year before school starts we take our kids to the Mall of America. You can get a wristband for the rides at Nickelodean Universe for $19.95 after 5:00pm. That still gives them about 5 hours to ride all the rides they care to ride (and they LOVE all the roller coasters and rides there). If you really want to spend an entire day there-you can get a wristband online for $24.95 online before you go (normally priced at $29.99).
2. The Passport Membership at the Children's Museum in La Crosse is $120 and gets you into tons of children's and science museums around the country. We have used it several times on our trips to Chicago (Planetarium, Science and Industry Museum, Field Museum, Children's Museum), Minneapolis/St. Paul (Children's Museum, Science Museum of Minnesota), and Madison (Children's Museum). If you use it ONE time you get your money's worth!

Some of my favorite websites for deals:

1. www.travelzoo.com
2. www.cheapcarribean.com (we used this site for our trip to the Bahamas)
3. www.retailmenot.com (coupons for EVERYTHING...food, clothes, online websites-I never buy ANYTHING online until I check for coupon codes on this site)
4. www.hotwire.com (my family has gotten some FANTASTIC deals on hotels at this website-think 4 star hotel in downtown Chicago for $40)
5. www.landsend.com then check out the Overstocks (I have gotten all my kids backpacks here-in the middle of the school year-for about $15 and they last forever)

I would love to hear any deals that you would like to share!!

My One True Love-Diet Coke

I LOVE diet coke! If there were a support group, or a diet coke anonymous I would go. I have tried several times throughout the last 10 years to break myself from this habit...enduring horrible caffeine withdrawal headaches for days....only to return to that lovely silver can a month later. There is just something about those refreshing brown bubbles that make me feel so good. When I'm tired...I grab a diet coke. When I'm sad...I grab a diet coke. When my house is a mess and my kids are insane and I feel like I just want to get in my car and drive away...I grab a diet coke.

I suppose I should be lucky that I am addicted to such a cheap, mostly harmless drug (think of how much I would spend a year if I was addicted to cigarettes or Vicodin)! I don't know if anyone else also believes this...but diet coke is even better from McDonald's! I have heard that it is the straw that they use (it's wider so it lets you slurp in more of that delicious beverage than sipping from a can).

One of the biggest disappointments I can have in a restaurant is when I hear those dreaded words..."is diet pepsi okay?" I just want to scream back at that waitress..."NO IT'S NOT OKAY! It tastes nothing like my delicious diet coke." This drives my husband CRAZY because he actually prefers diet pepsi (I know, what is wrong with him!) and he doesn't believe there is anything different in taste between the two. I have actually been known to choose one restaurant over another because I know they serve diet coke.

I know I should be drinking water...but it just doesn't taste as good. There are no bubbles to quench my thirst.  It doesn't wake me up and feel like a real person after I have gotten up at 4:30am for work the last 4 days. It doesn't come in a beautiful silver can with that cute new logo (yes-I LOVE the new logo). Maybe someday I will overcome this addiction...but for now I will keep by 24 pack stashed in the back of my mini-van and hope that it doesn't freeze this winter and explode all over before I get to enjoy it's delicious goodness.

 

ADHD-Fact or Fiction

The cartoons above make me laugh because I hear these kinds of comments EVERY DAY from my children.  I have two kids with ADHD and I have received a wide variety of "opinions" from people  (who are uneducated about this neurological disorder) about how to treat them (stop giving them so much sugar, that's not a real disease-just make them pay attention, you are just giving your kids an excuse to misbehave, all they really need is some old-fashioned discipline, don't worry-they will grow out of it). Believe me-if it were that easy-I would have tried many of these things a long time ago, but I have done a great deal of research on the topic and today I am going to enlighten you all (or bore you to death)!

Studies have shown that ADHD is a neurological condition that affects several parts of the brain:

1. The Frontal Lobe-which helps us pay attention, concentrate, make good decisions, plan ahead
2.  The Inhibitory Mechanisms of the Cortex- which keep us from being hyperactive, from saying things out of turn, and from getting mad at inappropriate time. It is said that 70% of the brain is there to inhibit the other 30%
3.  The Limbic System- which is the base of our emotions and our highly vigilant look-out tower. If the limbic system is over-activated, a person might have wide mood swings, or quick temper outbursts. He might also be "over-aroused," quick to startle, touching everything around him, hyper-vigilant. 
4. The Reticular Activating System-also known as the attention system of the brain. The RAS is the center of balance for the other systems involved in learning, self-control or inhibition, and motivation. When functioning normally, it provides the neural connections that are needed for the processing and learning of information, and the ability to pay attention to the correct task

The thing I always found interesting about ADHD was that it is thought of as a hyperactive disorder-when really-a lot of these parts of the brain are not active ENOUGH-thus causing the typical symptoms of ADHD. I always wondered why giving stimulants to these kids helped them to gain control over themselves. Now I understand that these stimulants are helping to stimulate the areas of the brain that control attention and activity.

Above is a sample Q-EEGs of two Attention Deficit Disorder children compared to two non- ADD ADHD children.  The Attention Deficit Disorder children show excessive slow brainwave activity (theta and alpha ranges) compared to non- ADD ADHD activity. The slow brainwave activity indicates a lack of control in the cortex of the brain.

While I appreciate understanding the science behind ADHD, I also have to look at our personal experiences. My oldest son can be the sweetest, gentlest, child-able to concentrate on a book for hours or build a city of legos for an entire day...when he is taking his medication. The difference between him on his medication and off his medication or like night and day! In the morning, we try to give it to him right away so that he can focus better on the tasks he needs to do before school. If I ask him to put on his shoes and get his coat on before his medication kicks in-he will often respond by arguing, refusing, or throwing a giant fit...if I wait 20 minutes and then ask him to get his shoes and coat on-he does so with a smile on his face and then helps his younger sister get her coat on! He has even told us that he doesn't like the way it feels when he doesn't have his medicine. He feels like he has ideas and thoughts bombarding him and he can't focus on anything. On the days he has gone to school without taking his medication-we have gotten reports from teachers who were amazed by his behavior and wondered what would have caused him to act so impulsively and be so inattentive (I always smile and point out that they are lucky that he gets his medication most days...or it would be a long school year for him and the teacher).

While Jacob suffers from the more hyperactive form of ADHD, our youngest daughter tends to be more inattentive! We had her evaluated for ADHD by a psychiatrist when she was four because I was afraid for her well-being. She was NEVER paying attention to where she was...I would take her with me to drop the boys off at school and she would wander away and I would lose her (in a matter of 30 seconds). Several times I had other parents running around the school searching for her (only to find her in the parking lot outside). She would concentrate so hard on following a crack in the sidewalk that she could walk right out into the street and never notice that there were cars coming right at her. She was always getting hurt or lost because she wasn't paying attention...and she tried...but it was physically impossible for her to focus on one thing at a time. I love the cartoon below because it does a great job of illustrating how the mind of someone with ADHD works. I have a lot of first-hand knowledge in this topic because my mother also has ADHD and her thought process is always a little strange (yet I am now able to translate for others when they ask...what made you think of that?)

 All I can say is that I am grateful for the advances in science because they have given my children the chance to succeed in a society that is not set up to support people with ADHD. In cave man days, these individuals would be out in the wild, hunting and gathering, and moving around all day long. Now we make kids sit for 8 hours a day in a desk and listen to someone else talk about what they think they should learn. The medications that my kids take make it possible for them to do this without being labeled "the problem child" of the class. I always feel bad for the kids that are obviously struggling with impulsivity, the ones that the teachers groan about when they find out they are in their class (and I know this happens because my sister is a teacher). These are creative and wildly imaginative kids who could, and someday (with the right guidance), will do great things. I wouldn't trade my kids for anything in the world. I love their thoughts and their creativity but I'm glad that they are able to positively focus these attributes with a little Vitamin R (family joke-vitamin R standing for Ritalin!

My Favorite Kindle Book Blog

Books on the Knob

So the link above (just click on the name and it will take you right there) is for my favorite blog about free/cheap kindle books (and other Amazon deals). If you were not aware-I LOVE my kindle (and all things Amazon) and I take it with me everywhere I go.  I usually read 2-3 books a week and I'm always looking for deals on good books. The Books on the Knob blog is updated every day with the current deals for kindle books and includes a description of each book (which I love because then I don't have to click on each one to see if it sounds interesting). I get the blog  in e-mail form every day and the author also does a good job of pointing out what the kindle special offers are (for those who have a kindle with special offers-which I LOVE).

My siblings and my kids all have kindles too and we share books all the time. The nice part about that is that we can pick up a new release book for $12 and split the cost (so it usually only costs us each $2), and then we can all read it at the same time. No more running to the bookstore or waiting for holds at the library...I can have the second book in the Divergent Trilogy as soon as I wake up on May 1st, 2012 (the cover for this book was just recently released)...

I often buy books for my kids and they spend a good part of their day (and night) reading on their kindles. I love that I don't have to fill anymore bookcases up with "real" books (we had 4 bookcases full and I recently cleared out 2 and donated them to my sister or goodwill). No matter where we are-we always have several books to choose from and we can read the same book at the same time (no more fighting over who gets to read the newest Diary of A Wimpy Kid book first!)

If you are looking for some good reads-feel free to check out my list on the right-hand side of this blog (from Goodreads-another of my favorite websites). If you are interested in becoming my "friend" on goodreads-just let me know and I will send you an invite. It is my favorite site to keep track of what I have read, which books I liked, and what my other friends are reading.

Here is my kindle at Atlantis in the Bahamas. While my husband brought three "real" books with him on our trip and finished them on the second day-I had about 30 kindle books with me and never ran out of books to read (and it took up way less room in our suitcase)!